Monday, July 19, 2010

For the love of the game

So, today was a first for me. I actually allowed someone of the opposite sex to come on my run with me. I have someone who is a friend who could possibly be more, but he's complicated....ask me if he could come meet me at the track and run with me. I told him yes, but I have always been reluctant before due to the fear of someone thinking I run funny or not "the right way," or that I didn't run fast enough or making fun of me when I had to walk. But it was good, we ran and talked and it was good. :-)
Then tonight Jaxon and I went to the park and played. It is so hard with his immune system to get out but not in a place where there are so many germs. I am trying to find healthy meals that the kids will love as well as being good for them. Any ideas??

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Today should be history

I am ready for today to be over. This is the day that my best friend, DG and I become the same age~33 for a few months. I made a video montage of the fabulous 4 chickas for DG's birthday. You can see it here:

DG is the sister that God forgot to give me. She is a true blessing in my family's life. I love her more than she will ever know. She is my soul sister and I wanted to wish her a happy birthday.
Another one of the fab 4 chickas is having a horrible, rough day. Princess Jeni's daddy was sent home from the hospital today to spend the rest of his days with his family. I know this is some of the roughest days she will have and I only wish I could be there to hug her so big! I know what those days are like and once again, I hate cancer!! I wish no family ever had to be touched by it again.
I had a great run tonight, even though that wasn't what I was thinking when I pulled in at the track. It was sprinkling when I got there and turned on the tunes. As I headed around the first bend of the track I realized it was raining a bit harder but there were birds there keeping me company. I came around the bend and they just stayed there in the field watching me and it was like a mutual respect. They knew I wasn't there to mess with them and they weren't going to mess with me. I just gave them a nod as I kept on trucking by. I loved running my 3 miles in the rain tonight...nothing hard just a steady rain and it had me thinking about life and how it often comes down on us like that and we feel overwhelmed, but really it's about finding the highlights in that rain.
Happy Birthday DG and Jeni, I am praying for you and your family girl....and FROGging and trying to B+ for you.

What suffers when you run?

So, one of the blogs that I love reading is at:
Today the post is about what suffers when you run. I have to write about what suffers when I don't run. My life is absolutely crazy sometimes, and I would give anything for a tiny bit of normal and boring. I have 2 kiddos: A is 11 and a super responsible 11 year old at that. J is well, J is a conundrum of another sort. He was diagnosed July 31, 2007 with stage 4 liver cancer that spread to both of his lungs. 12 rounds of chemo and 2 liver transplants later we have a good liver, for the most part but there is a HUGE amount of side effects from the chemo, the cancer, and his lowered immune system. Being a single mama and struggling to do all this myself doesn't make for very optimal circumstances most of the time. Hell, to be honest most of the time I would like to throw up my hands and yell "F it!!!" So, one of Jaxon's doctors sat me down once and told me that I needed to learn to do something for me. That's where running came in....yes, I am doing it to lose weight and to get in shape, but for the most part I am doing it to be selfish and to do one thing for me and just for me. I know what else suffers when I don't kids. I have an attitude from H-E-double hockey sticks when I don't run. I hate the yelling voice I have a tendency to get when I am over-stressed. I hate the person I become due to Jaxon's illnesses, the medicine costs and just the overall too muchness of it all.
What suffers when I do run??? My house LOL. I figure that I can go for that "lived in" look versus the pristine house. I am not one of those gals that has to have a house that looks like it came out of Home and Garden, thank God!!


Monday, July 5, 2010

Why I run..

"The question is," the pseudo-intellectual smirked,

when the topic turned to running
and runners,

"What are they running from?"

What am I running from?

I'm running from a size 16, 14, 12...
and a number on the scale,
from a lifetime of bad habits,
from hating my body
from a family history of depression and obesity
from diabetes
from a genetic predisposition to heart failure.

I run.

I run from the past,
from pain,
from ten years of smoking,
from asthma,
from fallen arches
from, "too old"
from, "too late"

I run.

I run from feeling trapped,
from feeling like a loser,
from past regrets,
from things I wished I'd done differently,

I run from the back of the pack,
from DNF,
from "you're too slow,"
from "you must be crazy,"
from, "isn't that hard on your knees?"

when I run,
I run to nowhere in particular.

I run alone,
without fanfare,
without audience,
just me and the pre-dawn darkness
and my footsteps.

I know I'm slow,
and I run like a girl.

Try and keep up.

Starting over and not looking back~

So today is July 5. Since it is a day after the birth of America I figured that it would be a great day for a start over for me. I had been doing really good with my running for several months and then I was just, this is a lot of work and I am not if I can keep it up. But, well I missed it. I missed how I felt running and my kids I think missed it because I am a lot nicer when I do run. I miss how strong my body feels after running and the high I have the rest of the day.
I have started over and today is day #1!!